I have analysed the feedback I got on my 1 minute draft feedback. I've written the good points, bad points and how me and my partner will improve this for editing deadline.
Good points
- The contrast between the protagonist and antagonist
- The cross cutting between the two characters worked well
- A variety of shots were used (eg. close up, long shot, angle shots)
- The alarm clock starting low in the dream and gets higher as it cuts to the girl waking up
- Appropriate mise-en-scene and locations used and is conventional to British Social Realism
Not so good points
- The waking up scene looked too dramatic
- The cut was too fast as it went from Paris doing her make up to Mercedes quickly coming out of the flat
- The sound between the jump shots at the train station differ
- One of the shots were a bit shaky
- The white board was in the way on the stage
Improvements
- We need to cut down the scene of the train approaching
- Record the ambient sound of a train station to be used throughout two shots
- Match on action shot of Mercedes coming out of the flat or swap shots as Paris doing her make up
- Re-film the scene of Mercedes waking up making it less dramatic and more realistic
- Re-film the dream scene and roll up the white board on the stage
Sunday 27 March 2011
Friday 25 March 2011
Thursday 24 March 2011
Monday 21 March 2011
Sunday 20 March 2011
Monday 14 March 2011
(Production) Company Logo
As for the production company logo, me and my partner decided on the name 'Capital Eye'. This is because it gives us an idea that we are following the daily lives of ordinary British people.
Me and my partner also created a few production logos using Corel Paint Shop Pro X and Adobe Fireworks. We used the colour scheme grey, black and white to connote a kind of negativity that British people don't always live a happy life.
This is a logo we created:
Instead we decided to use the following logo. This is because it is simple and the image of the eye connotes that we are watching over British peoples' daily lives in our particular opening sequence.
Me and my partner also created a few production logos using Corel Paint Shop Pro X and Adobe Fireworks. We used the colour scheme grey, black and white to connote a kind of negativity that British people don't always live a happy life.
This is a logo we created:
Instead we decided to use the following logo. This is because it is simple and the image of the eye connotes that we are watching over British peoples' daily lives in our particular opening sequence.
Sunday 13 March 2011
Thursday 10 March 2011
Wednesday 9 March 2011
(Pre-Production) Feedback Analysis of Animatic Story Board
The feedback I received for my animatic story board was:
I like the storyline, you can imagine how it will turn out, however sound could have been used to create more of a mood.
I think the storyline looks very good. I like how you have added extra information on the shots for example "*yawns*" giving the audience more information about whats happening :)
From the comments above, we received positive comments about the storyline and how I have added extra information in the shots such as dialogue to give the audience a better understanding of my opening sequence. These positive comments give me an impression that my opening sequence should run smoothly because they understand the storyline from the pictures.
One of the comments mentioned that I could have used sound to create more of a mood. To an extent, I agree with this. At 1:44 of my opening sequence, music of a piano begins to play to create sympathy for the protagonist as soon as she messed up her lines at the audition. Perhaps, I could have added music towards the beginning of my opening sequence to set a mood for the audience and give them an idea of what the opening sequence is going to be about.
I like the storyline, you can imagine how it will turn out, however sound could have been used to create more of a mood.
I think the storyline looks very good. I like how you have added extra information on the shots for example "*yawns*" giving the audience more information about whats happening :)
From the comments above, we received positive comments about the storyline and how I have added extra information in the shots such as dialogue to give the audience a better understanding of my opening sequence. These positive comments give me an impression that my opening sequence should run smoothly because they understand the storyline from the pictures.
One of the comments mentioned that I could have used sound to create more of a mood. To an extent, I agree with this. At 1:44 of my opening sequence, music of a piano begins to play to create sympathy for the protagonist as soon as she messed up her lines at the audition. Perhaps, I could have added music towards the beginning of my opening sequence to set a mood for the audience and give them an idea of what the opening sequence is going to be about.
Tuesday 8 March 2011
Sunday 6 March 2011
Saturday 5 March 2011
(Pre-Production) One Page Draft Treatment
25 word premise
Mercedes, a teenage girl from Marks Gate has always dreamed of becoming an actress. With many issues in her life, will she aim for success?
Target audience
- My film targets the age range of 16-24 because the themes such as aspiration, growing up, relationships and conflict relates to that age group. Also the themes are quite complicated such as violence and drug abuse which young people may not understand or take it seriously.
- Additionally the film involves the issue of suicide, an issue which is very serious and you need to be mature when watching it and it could be upsetting for a young audience. The film is targeted at a British niche audience we decided the film would relate to the working class as this class can relate to the film more. It will appeal to a female audience because the main characters in my film are females. This is appealing for a female audience as they can relate to the aspects of the person of the same gender and the lifestyle of the characters. It could still appeal to a male audience if they are aspiring to be something, but the issues faced in my film will relate more to females than males.
- I also did some research on the kind of interests this audience has for example music as the audience will be familiar with the song tracks in the film which a British artists. Additionally stuff like celebrities, television are aspects which girls like and enjoy. The Internet, mobile phones, magazines are consumptions that a lot this target audience have and these devices are used within the film to give it a sense of realism.
-The unique selling point of my film would be the theme of 'growing up and aspiration' as my target audience can relate to this and at the age group of 16 and over, you tend to make decisions in life. A film which inspired me was 'Fish Tank' which is about a girl from a working class background aspiring to become a dancer. Here is a link to a video showing a few clips from the film: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvuWhhZUBRI. Another film which inspired me was Billy Elliot which deals with a similar theme of growing up and aspiration. The main character, which is a young boy, aspires to become a ballet dancer. Here is a link to the first part of the film: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lm5reTXJQQA
Outline of idea
The main idea of our film is to prove that no matter which social background you come from and the obstacles and issues you face in life, you can still aim to reach success. Many people get the impression that the stereotype of a ‘chav’ are troublemakers and have no career intentions, but they miss out the fact that they can be aspired to go far in life in order to get out of their current situation. In my opening sequence, when the protagonist Mercedes begins her audition, she gets nervous and messes up her line. She runs out of the auditions and into the toilets angry and upset. My opening sequence will end at this point depending on whether she gives up her hopes or continues to try and aim for her dream to become an actress.
Mercedes, a teenage girl from Marks Gate has always dreamed of becoming an actress. With many issues in her life, will she aim for success?
Target audience
- My film targets the age range of 16-24 because the themes such as aspiration, growing up, relationships and conflict relates to that age group. Also the themes are quite complicated such as violence and drug abuse which young people may not understand or take it seriously.
- Additionally the film involves the issue of suicide, an issue which is very serious and you need to be mature when watching it and it could be upsetting for a young audience. The film is targeted at a British niche audience we decided the film would relate to the working class as this class can relate to the film more. It will appeal to a female audience because the main characters in my film are females. This is appealing for a female audience as they can relate to the aspects of the person of the same gender and the lifestyle of the characters. It could still appeal to a male audience if they are aspiring to be something, but the issues faced in my film will relate more to females than males.
- I also did some research on the kind of interests this audience has for example music as the audience will be familiar with the song tracks in the film which a British artists. Additionally stuff like celebrities, television are aspects which girls like and enjoy. The Internet, mobile phones, magazines are consumptions that a lot this target audience have and these devices are used within the film to give it a sense of realism.
-The unique selling point of my film would be the theme of 'growing up and aspiration' as my target audience can relate to this and at the age group of 16 and over, you tend to make decisions in life. A film which inspired me was 'Fish Tank' which is about a girl from a working class background aspiring to become a dancer. Here is a link to a video showing a few clips from the film: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvuWhhZUBRI. Another film which inspired me was Billy Elliot which deals with a similar theme of growing up and aspiration. The main character, which is a young boy, aspires to become a ballet dancer. Here is a link to the first part of the film: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lm5reTXJQQA
Outline of idea
The main idea of our film is to prove that no matter which social background you come from and the obstacles and issues you face in life, you can still aim to reach success. Many people get the impression that the stereotype of a ‘chav’ are troublemakers and have no career intentions, but they miss out the fact that they can be aspired to go far in life in order to get out of their current situation. In my opening sequence, when the protagonist Mercedes begins her audition, she gets nervous and messes up her line. She runs out of the auditions and into the toilets angry and upset. My opening sequence will end at this point depending on whether she gives up her hopes or continues to try and aim for her dream to become an actress.
Thursday 3 March 2011
(Pre-Production) Analysis of Feedback
Looking back at my treatment as a draft, I received some positive feedback on my treatment and some feedback on areas I could improve on. I would need to take all this into consideration for when I improve my final treatment. My partner and I have discussed that we might need to make a couple of changes on our final treatment based on our peers' feedback.
I received positive feedback about the title 'Hear Me Out' because it is short and gives a sense of what the storyline may be about. They also mentioned that the storyline was very good and the fact that we had good ideas such as using the helicopter to get an establishing shot but we couldn't because of the cost issues.
Me and my partner also received feedback on areas which we could improve on and parts of the story line they lacked understanding of.
- Why does she hate her mother?
On our treatment, we had to cut the narrative short because it went over 2 minutes whilst working on the shooting script. So we decided to remove the scene where Mercedes snatches the letter of acceptance from her mother. This can be a stereotype that she is just a moody teenager but doesn't actually hate her mother.
- What happened in the flashback?
In the flashback, we see Mercedes having a dream of herself in the future as a famous actress. We hear a man say "Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome Mercedes Johnson" and she comes on to the awards stage looking glamorous, smiling and waving at the crowd who are cheering and clapping. Mercedes, from a working class background is aspired to live her dream of becoming an actress which contrasts with the fact that she is quite poor.
- Who is she aspiring to be like?
As she is quite poor, she wants to get out of her current situation to live the dream of a celebrity. She could be reading magazines and wants to live the lifestyle most famous actresses do.
- What are her daily routines?
I received positive feedback about the title 'Hear Me Out' because it is short and gives a sense of what the storyline may be about. They also mentioned that the storyline was very good and the fact that we had good ideas such as using the helicopter to get an establishing shot but we couldn't because of the cost issues.
Me and my partner also received feedback on areas which we could improve on and parts of the story line they lacked understanding of.
- Why does she hate her mother?
On our treatment, we had to cut the narrative short because it went over 2 minutes whilst working on the shooting script. So we decided to remove the scene where Mercedes snatches the letter of acceptance from her mother. This can be a stereotype that she is just a moody teenager but doesn't actually hate her mother.
- What happened in the flashback?
In the flashback, we see Mercedes having a dream of herself in the future as a famous actress. We hear a man say "Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome Mercedes Johnson" and she comes on to the awards stage looking glamorous, smiling and waving at the crowd who are cheering and clapping. Mercedes, from a working class background is aspired to live her dream of becoming an actress which contrasts with the fact that she is quite poor.
- Who is she aspiring to be like?
As she is quite poor, she wants to get out of her current situation to live the dream of a celebrity. She could be reading magazines and wants to live the lifestyle most famous actresses do.
- What are her daily routines?
Her daily routine is that she goes to school and is in competition with a middle class girl from the same school who seems to have a higher chance of getting through the auditions. Mercedes isn't academic in school, but she wants to fulfill her dream of becoming a famous actress one day.
- Sound/Music
As for sound and music effects, me and my partner decided we would play non-diegetic sound of the piano being played towards the end of the opening sequence so the audience would feel sympathetic towards the protagonist. We would also play slow instrumental music when introducing the antagonist to give us an idea that she is from the middle class. We find that ambient and diegetic sound is important because we would also need to make our film looking as realistic as possible.
- Sound/Music
As for sound and music effects, me and my partner decided we would play non-diegetic sound of the piano being played towards the end of the opening sequence so the audience would feel sympathetic towards the protagonist. We would also play slow instrumental music when introducing the antagonist to give us an idea that she is from the middle class. We find that ambient and diegetic sound is important because we would also need to make our film looking as realistic as possible.
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