(Pre-Production) Analysis of Feedback

Looking back at my treatment as a draft, I received some positive feedback on my treatment and some feedback on areas I could improve on. I would need to take all this into consideration for when I improve my final treatment. My partner and I have discussed that we might need to make a couple of changes on our final treatment based on our peers' feedback.

I received positive feedback about the title 'Hear Me Out' because it is short and gives a sense of what the storyline may be about. They also mentioned that the storyline was very good and the fact that we had good ideas such as using the helicopter to get an establishing shot but we couldn't because of the cost issues.

Me and my partner also received feedback on areas which we could improve on and parts of the story line they lacked understanding of.

- Why does she hate her mother?
On our treatment, we had to cut the narrative short because it went over 2 minutes whilst working on the shooting script. So we decided to remove the scene where Mercedes snatches the letter of acceptance from her mother. This can be a stereotype that she is just a moody teenager but doesn't actually hate her mother.


- What happened in the flashback?
In the flashback, we see Mercedes having a dream of herself in the future as a famous actress. We hear a man say "Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome Mercedes Johnson" and she comes on to the awards stage looking glamorous, smiling and waving at the crowd who are cheering and clapping. Mercedes, from a working class background is aspired to live her dream of becoming an actress which contrasts with the fact that she is quite poor. 


- Who is she aspiring to be like?
As she is quite poor, she wants to get out of her current situation to live the dream of a celebrity. She could be reading magazines and wants to live the lifestyle most famous actresses do.

- What are her daily routines?

Her daily routine is that she goes to school and is in competition with a middle class girl from the same school who seems to have a higher chance of getting through the auditions. Mercedes isn't academic in school, but she wants to fulfill her dream of becoming a famous actress one day.

- Sound/Music
As for sound and music effects, me and my partner decided we would play non-diegetic sound of the piano being played towards the end of the opening sequence so the audience would feel sympathetic towards the protagonist. We would also play slow instrumental music when introducing the antagonist to give us an idea that she is from the middle class. We find that ambient and diegetic sound is important because we would also need to make our film looking as realistic as possible.